Love Eluding You? Let Go And It May Find You
|
How many times have you heard someone say it was when they weren't looking for love that they found it? Often they'll say, "I had just accepted the possibility that I may not find someone and realized that I'd be ok." Or, "It's ok if I'm single for the rest of my life."
It's a paradox. We're taught to focus on what we want and to take action until we reach our target. Yet if we focus or hold on too tight to the target, it eludes our grasp and gets further and further away.
What's a single gal or guy to do?
I needed an answer so I called relationship coach Karen Jones. I figured if anyone knew the answer she would.
Karen has been working with and listening to hundreds of single and married women for eight years through her 'Heart Matters' (http://www.heartmatter.net) coaching company. When I asked her for an explanation of this paradox she explained it like this:
"Think of it in terms of energy. There is a flow to it; the more attached you are to an outcome, the more you squeeze the flow, and you either slow it down, divert it, or simply shut if off. I like to use the imagery of being in the shower, and grabbing a bar of soap. If you squeeze too hard the soap jumps out of your hand. It's like that with relationships. If you squeeze too hard around relationship energy it becomes too hard to hold. Loosen your grip, and the soap (relationship) is there."
She then went on to explain the solution.
"You have to decide you're just going to be happy in life, no matter what. Make your life work now. Do what you love to do, and spend time in ways that fulfill you. One indirect benefit of that decision (and way of being), is this: that energy is very attractive. You're doing things that interest you, which will create opportunities for you to meet people that you enjoy; men as well as women who'd be good to spend time with.
Just to clarify. This doesn't mean you give up on your vision of having a happy, successful marriage. You need to keep that dream alive in your heart. It does mean you let go of the specific details you have pictured in your mind about your dream. For example: your husband will be 6'2" tall and have blue eyes and blond hair, you'll have 2 kids - a twin boy and girl, and your house will be in this city on this street etc. Trust that your vision will unfold and that it may look very different from your picture. In fact, it's often better than what you could have possibly imagined."
It's like this invisible fine-line exists. While you need to clearly see and know what you want and take action to make your intention a reality, at the same time you have to be ok if you don't get it. Expect to get it yet don't be attached to getting the outcome. If you find yourself holding on too tight, just let go and enjoy life. Love may find you.
Sue Bond shares dating stories, tips, dating site reviews, and news on what works and doesn't work in the world of online dating on her online dating site. Check out the blog!
For women who want to have the relationship of their dreams, visit Karen Jones at http://www.heartmatter.net
|
|
|
Attract The Love Of Your Life
Have you heard about the technique Olympic athletes use to help them win gold medals?In addition to conventional practice, they do some critical mental work as well. They close their eyes and "see" themselves making the winning basket, being first across the finish line, etc. They "feel" the weight of the medal as it's draped over their necks. They "hear" the roar of the crowd.What does this have to do with you attracting a good, fun, and faithful man o...(related: Dating)
The Right Dating Strategy
So, you have decided to do it. Get out there to the cyber space and try you luck. I mean, many people do it and talk about it, so why not, right?Yea, you are right, but a good plan will help you get the results YOU want.1.Get some great digital photos of yourself - No matter what the sites tell you, this is not optional. A photo is worth 50,000 words online. If you want t o do better then that, upload a voice or video message. You ...(related: Dating)
How To Choose A Dating Service
There are so many dating sites out there, hundreds if not thousands, how do you even begin to decide where to register and start your online dating experience?
You could just pick one at random, create a profile, and sit back and wait for the other members to beat a path to your email inbox. Who knows, you could get lucky and it might work out first time. But even a tiny bit of investigation beforehand could save a lot of time and frustration!
The trick is to be prepared. You probably wouldn't go off to buy a new car and start by trawling around dealerships at random...(related: Dating)
Pick-up Lines That Work
Most pick-up lines don't work because they are trite, cheesy, and closed-ended statements. Others don't work because of their overt sexual overtones. The pick-up lines that do work tend to follow the three immutable rules:1) The pick-up line should be in the form of a question.Most pick-up lines are just stale closed-ended statements. Take for instance the pick-up line: "Baby I'm no Fred Flinstone, but I can cake your Bedrock." This type of statement pick-up line doesn't make it easy for a girl to respond. When a pick-up line is in the form of a question it fosters conversation.For example, if you use the pick-up line "Do I look fat in these jeans?" you make it very easy for the girl to engage in conversation.2) The pick-up line should be humorous and tasteful....(related: Dating)
Online Dating Tips - Five Steps To Creating Your Profile
Creating your online dating profile is an aspect often commonly overlooked by online daters. You sign up for a dating service, forget about it, no-one contacts you and you give up. Why? You have not marketed yourself properly - so many daters fail even to post a picture!Imagine if you are going out for a night out on the town ? you make a...(related: Dating)
Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places?
You've hung out in bars, you've answered the personals, you've maxed out the plastic trolling online dating sites, and you still...(related: Dating)
Want To Be A Success In Dating? Use Your 5 Senses
How often do girls on the street smile to you, pay to you attention? Sometimes? Never? You wonder what you should do to make it happen?It is very easy, just use your senses.First of all, what attracts attention of a girl? You think appearance? You are wrong! There are 5 main aspects that girls value most of all.
- Masculinity. Women feel sorry for losers, but are fond of winners.
- Confidence. Women like self-confident men. The ones who know what they want, and how to achieve it.
- Determination. If you look at the girl for the whole evening, but do not dare to come closer to her, your chances are not high.
- Activity. As the man is proud of himself if he comes to the party in a luxurious car, t...(related: Dating)
Men: Never Compliment A Woman You Want To Date
Hello Lucia,I regularly compliment women and tell them that I am interested in them. Is this the kiss of death? I hear being aloof and stand-offish is more intriguing and works better in trying to get a woman's attention, especially in the beginning. Richard.Hi Richard,Yes, complimenting women (especially if they're attractive) when you first meet them is verboten. Attractive women are used to getting compliments ? in fact, they expect them. If you tell a woman you've just met that she's beautiful, the dialogue cloud above her head is thinking, "Tell me something I don't know." She already knows she's hot. How do you think she got that way? Do you think she just rolled out of bed like tha...(related: Dating)
Finding Your Dream Date Sometimes Takes Guts!
My husband and I used to live in NYC. WE would often take dog for a walk last night to get her and us exercise. If you've ever lived in NYC, you know there is never any way to know what excitement that you will wander upon. This particular night, we heard some deep gospel sounds coming from a park near Lincoln Center so we wandered over to check out the event.As we stood in the back with the other dog owners, a gray terrier and another brown dog came over to greet our dog Mallory. In New York, people always ask what the name of the dog is, but rarely take the time to meet and greet the person. Meanwhile, the owners politely wait as the dogs check each other out, and usually move on. This time however, the owner of the terrier, struck up a conversation with us. He told us that his other dog passed away over a month a...(related: Dating)
Basic Sms Tips For Picking Up The Women Of Your Dreams
I don't know if the craze of SMS has caught on around the world but many, many people use it here in New Zealand and everyone SMS's each other. I thought it was only r...(related: Dating)
Online Dating Beginners Quiz
Free dating online-you've heard about it, you've read about it, maybe you even have a friend who's doing it. You're thinking of giving it a try yourself. But how do you know if it's the right thing for you? Here's a quick quiz to help you det...(related: Dating)
How To Get More Responses At Online Dating Sites
So, you've decided to join a dating website. You're hoping someone out there will find something interesting about you and try to get to know you better.Many members worry about appearing 'desperate' or over keen. This can mean putting in less effort into a profile in a bid to 'play it cool'. Of course, nobody wishes to be seen as desperate. However, keep this in mind: how will others know what you want, if you don't ask for it? How will they ever appreciate your finer qualities if you remain tightlipped?Therefore, to be successful in the online dating world, ...(related: Dating)
site-map - Copyright © 2007 | Contact Webmaster | All Rights Reserved. | Dating