Humor Information

Cant Get There From Here

Can't Get There From Here Juneau is the capital of Alaska, but did you know that you cannot drive there from anywhere? You can fly into Juneau or you can take a ferry to Juneau, but you can't actually drive there. There are no roads into Juneau.

Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant

Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill.

The Patience of Job

Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article.

Marines Dont Take Crap

We live in a world of widgets. People manufacture, distribute, and sell them.

Military Wives

I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic.

Discover the Lighter Side of the Internet

We all know the Internet is a great tool for finding out information and sharing knowledge. But as a human sometimes sitting at a computer all day can get quite tedious, especially if it is your job 5 days a week.

The Language of Appalachia

Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables.

Local Author Joins History and Humor To Tell His Stories

Joseph Yakel was born and raised in New York's Capital region, and calls this place home. His travels have taken him far and wide, but it's his hometown surroundings that serve as a backdrop for his writing.

Voodoo Munchies

Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness.

Computers According to Carol

A is for Anti-Virus: she got it from my Uncle.B is for Backup: always look in your rear view mirror first.

Psychiatric Psychiatrist - A Joke on Psychiatry

A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling.

How To Get Attention, or: As You Read This, You Feel an Irresistible Urge to Go On Reading!

We all want attention. As children we crave the attention of our parents.

How I Spent my Summer Vacation

One of the best parts of a vacation is the positive outlook you derive from pleasant anticipation. Another benefit is the afterglow, allowing you to feel right with the world.

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems

In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack.

Funny Things We Dream

I often wonder why I wake up so happy, ready to start the day. When I was younger I'd whack the alarm clock, for the fourth time, grumble out of bed and stomp around with a major sour puss.

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House ends eight seasons of humor and pain - Kansas City Star

Ellen DeGeneres named Mark Twain Prize recipient - Washington Post

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNHdx66FmZwFA62z962i8FNy2CjhIQamp;url=http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId%3D807941%26publicationSubCategoryId%3D200img src=//nt3.ggpht.com/news/tbn/rwdc1s12ZZFbtM/6.jpg alt= border=1 width=80 height=80 /br /font size=-2Philippine Star/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGAL04sHa9e6GOs_TWQu92_I-mraAamp;url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/ellen-degeneres-named-mark-twain-prize-recipient/2012/05/15/gIQAGXnIRU_story.htmlbEllen DeGeneres named Mark Twain Prize recipient/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fWashington Post/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1Ellen DeGeneres, the award-winning comedian and talk show host, has been selected by the Kennedy Center to receive this year#39;s Mark Twain Prize for American bHumor/b. Ellen, as she is known to the millions who watch her syndicated talk show, b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGeJs6dHRZyHijGRMbMn1vq80hUdQamp;url=http://articles.boston.com/2012-05-15/ae/31712838_1_humor-prize-mark-twain-prize-ellen-degeneresEllen DeGeneres wins top US bhumor/b prize in DC/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrBoston.com/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFNzk3qAjNxobntkEgqakB2J_MTuQamp;url=http://www.mercurynews.com/entertainment/ci_20630397/hicks-ellen-degeneres-wins-mark-twain-awardHicks: Ellen DeGeneres wins Mark Twain award/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSan Jose Mercury News/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGhtELqAkgc1eZhaJBMk9KT5SjsSgamp;url=http://www.reuters.com/article/2012/05/15/entertainment-us-ellendegeneres-idUSBRE84E14P20120515Ellen DeGeneres gains top US award for bhumor/b/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrReuters/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1 class=pa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNEprgBUIHSh2qFBhBjjqz9ho-ai-Qamp;url=http://www.freep.com/article/20120515/ENT03/120515028/1046/ent/Ellen-DeGeneres-tapped-Mark-Twain-PrizenobrDetroit Free Press/nobr/anbsp;-a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNHdx66FmZwFA62z962i8FNy2CjhIQamp;url=http://www.philstar.com/Article.aspx?articleId%3D807941%26publicationSubCategoryId%3D200nobrPhilippine Star/nobr/a/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=dwC8pPlWXbFDQVM4OJvUFlyB_nRuMnobrball 416 news articlesnbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Hodgepodge of humor cant save The Dictator - Bowling Green Daily News

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNE7s4sw9vIF8Bz3aKrkeYIau4DLuwamp;url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/sacha-baron-cohen/9274788/Tajikistan-wont-show-Sacha-Baron-Cohens-The-Dictator.htmlimg src=//nt2.ggpht.com/news/tbn/ZuA_zKzeAo_3_M/6.jpg alt= border=1 width=80 height=80 /br /font size=-2Telegraph.co.uk/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGu2QlIKiTOaXD6xMnUTEmTl91thwamp;url=http://www.bgdailynews.com/features/timeout/movie_reviews/hodgepodge-of-humor-can-t-save-the-dictator/article_5d9da9bc-a02a-11e1-a4a7-0019bb2963f4.htmlbHodgepodge of bhumor/b can#39;t save #39;The Dictator#39;/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fBowling Green Daily News/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1But the gags are all over the map after that, a hodgepodge of bhumor/b that can#39;t decide whether it wants to be mean-spirited satire or play it safe for a mass audience. The result is Cohen#39;s weakest film to date. Cohen plays Aladeen, the vicious ruler of b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFESq5ex-2Dk0vRDH1mgFcN74yEOwamp;url=http://siouxcityjournal.com/ap/lee/review-the-dictator-sometimes-goes-too-far-with-humor/article_7cb159da-d032-585a-88f7-80f70bcd6573.htmlReview: #39;The Dictator#39; sometimes goes too far with bhumor/b/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSioux City Journal (blog)/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNG9rPf0BiZQlFGxCGXsEsOblSf9NQamp;url=http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f%3D/g/a/2012/05/16/bloomberg_articlesM42OUQ1A74E901-M42RM.DTLSacha Baron Cohen#39;s #39;Dictator#39; Kills With Black bHumor/b: Review/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrSan Francisco Chronicle/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNH0O67gKz9feVy_pBIjUZc4rDcZyQamp;url=http://host.madison.com/entertainment/movies/reviews/gross-out-humor-undermines-dictator-s-pointed-satire/article_2818cc23-a803-5b47-8a76-c21e5d7cdbe0.htmlGross-out bhumor/b undermines #39;Dictator#39;s#39; pointed satire/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrWisconsin State Journal/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1 class=pa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNEe3E2qCNHi1xN4aQ524Nyg-B2FOwamp;url=http://www.thenorthwestern.com/article/20120517/OSH0501/205170360/Sacha-Baron-Cohen-mean-Dictator-lacks-good-humornobrThe Oshkosh Northwestern/nobr/a/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=diGg_Aews-umhLMIYzEc8j6GZw0GMnobrball 1,464 news articlesnbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Film review: The Dictator is humorous, but stretches bad taste - Glendale News Press

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNF0kWZoKqMh6zQvqQ-FZkiO0xRIKgamp;url=http://www.cbc.ca/news/arts/the-buzz/2012/05/film-reviews-the-dictator-bernie.htmlimg src=//nt2.ggpht.com/news/tbn/Bnp9JB2wcMYWqM/6.jpg alt= border=1 width=80 height=80 /br /font size=-2CBC.ca/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGEf7TKJmaEuw9Ndrq2UqV0LkYLYAamp;url=http://www.glendalenewspress.com/entertainment/tn-gnp-0520-film-review-the-dictator-is-humorous-but-stretches-bad-taste,0,107338.storybFilm review: #39;The Dictator#39; is bhumorous/b, but stretches bad taste/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fGlendale News Press/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1Most of the bhumor/b doesn#39;t cut quite so close to the bone. â€œThe Dictatorâ€ also has slapstick and dumb-guy jokes and even a sort of cerebral, surreal gag about meat (sort of a reconfiguration of the funniest bit in the underrated Freaked)./fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFyVncxfWUnCy9z9D_GcEpQ_4M5VQamp;url=http://www.ecollegetimes.com/movies/the-dictator-hits-every-offensive-but-hilarious-note-1.2740828#39;The Dictator#39; hits every offensive but hilarious note/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrCollege Times/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNHWHcZJKuslrlPTmGGitGchX46Lrwamp;url=http://www.neontommy.com/news/2012/05/sacha-baron-cohen-finally-disappoints-dictatorREVIEW: Sacha Baron Cohen Disappoints With quot;The Dictatorquot;/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrNeon Tommy/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFgd34ykA3T3OYYPDKTl7JTBUJFAQamp;url=http://www.fox44.com/entertainment/fox44-box-office/new-in-theaters-may-18-2012New in Theaters - May 18, 2012/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrWGMB FOX 44/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1 class=pa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNEOtHlpCYCmRMEgaNCkvJn_vulpRwamp;url=http://blogs.wwlp.com/2012/05/19/the-dictator/nobrWWLP 22News (blog)/nobr/anbsp;-a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNEQyiVZ2OyxTblpF5NhbYsyyOfLgQamp;url=http://www.ahwatukee.com/arts_life/article_d7dbcd70-a08a-11e1-9cf5-0019bb2963f4.htmlnobrAhwatukee Foothills News/nobr/anbsp;-a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFZwR21NPhimK3DKvf61mwMg3RdTAamp;url=http://www.chicagonow.com/hammervision/2012/05/the-dictator-is-sacha-baron-cohens-love-guru/nobrChicagoNow (blog)/nobr/a/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=doBTvun__vz2P7MetXG6E73utBImMnobrball 295 news articlesnbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Christie uses humor video to connect, but could Romney follow suit? - msnbc.com (blog)

Humor Satire: Mr. Bouchards Guide to Graduating - The Miscellany News

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serif/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNG-ukSyawyI-nG31TVlTp9w6Ke6owamp;url=http://www.miscellanynews.com/2.1577/humor-satire-mr-bouchard-s-guide-to-graduating-1.2740820bbHumor/b amp; Satire: Mr. Bouchard#39;s Guide to Graduating/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fThe Miscellany News/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1By Jean-Luc Bouchard As a rising junior and non-empathic sociopath, it#39;s difficult for me to place myself in a senior#39;s soon-to-be-graduating shoes. But according to the roughly eight thousand Facebook and SayAnything posts I#39;ve read, graduation is b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1 class=p/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=dCWWiuBsDwhhyRMnobrb/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

With 1600 Penn, Jason Winer goes from Modern Family to political humor - Baltimore Sun

Video showcases Christies sense of humor - Philadelphia Inquirer

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serif/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGTTcZNa5Ts8jvaZG621-Lcl9mpOwamp;url=http://www.philly.com/philly/news/politics/151820845.htmlbVideo showcases Christie#39;s sense of bhumor/b/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fPhiladelphia Inquirer/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1By Matt Katz play their roles in the video that played off recent events involving them. The two are seen as possible foes in the race for governor next year. The black SUV that transported Gov. Christie got a flat tire as he was on his way to catching b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1 class=p/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=d9Qqm5ef5vykLvMnobrband morenbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Daniel Okrent, Peter Gethers yuk it up with their off-Broadway show Old Jews ... - Washington Post

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serif/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNE5E-aqFKb01cWK3c2MqKlKc92Eggamp;url=http://www.washingtonpost.com/entertainment/theater_dance/daniel-okrent-peter-gethers-yuk-it-up-with-their-off-broadway-show-old-jews-telling-jokes/2012/05/18/gIQAvqK0YU_story.htmlbDaniel Okrent, Peter Gethers yuk it up with their off-Broadway show #39;Old Jews b.../b/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fWashington Post/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1â€œWithout being pretentious, without turning it into anything major, we wanted it to be a show that was not just jokes but a show that was partly about jokes and about bhumor/b.â€ It#39;s inspired by the website OldJewsTellingJokes.com and Okrent and Gethers b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1 class=p/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=d5RlcXEltz1w_9Mnobrband morenbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

Rock and Banks give humor and heart to Expecting - STLtoday.com

table border=0 cellpadding=2 cellspacing=7 style=vertical-align:top;trtd width=80 align=center valign=topfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNEYX5fXj8xR790AtwwZplzuLQM3Lwamp;url=http://www.sfexaminer.com/entertainment/movies/2012/05/expect-predictability-what-expectimg src=//nt3.ggpht.com/news/tbn/rzyT-kRMVuMu6M/6.jpg alt= border=1 width=80 height=80 /br /font size=-2San Francisco Examiner/font/a/font/tdtd valign=top class=jfont style=font-size:85%;font-family:arial,sans-serifbr /div style=padding-top:0.8em;img alt= height=1 width=1 //divdiv class=lha href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNGjV8-roZJcVoXR5TNja1K8mZc50gamp;url=http://www.stltoday.com/entertainment/movies/reviews/rock-and-banks-give-humor-and-heart-to-expecting/article_0f59df75-7eb1-5627-ad58-d634c8e2e262.htmlbRock and Banks give bhumor/b and heart to #39;Expecting#39;/b/abr /font size=-1bfont color=#6f6f6fSTLtoday.com/font/b/fontbr /font size=-1Elizabeth Banks (left) and Brooklyn Decker in quot;What to Expect When You#39;re Expecting.quot; Lionsgate photo quot;What to Expect When You#39;re Expectingquot; is a quot;Valentine#39;s Dayquot; take on impending parenthood. Assorted couples cope with pregnancies, adoption and the b.../b/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNH_cPYSjj5QLOm7gzWFHzEcPhV2bwamp;url=http://www.nbcchicago.com/entertainment/movies/Season-of-the-Self-Help-Movie-151727475.htmlSeason of the Self-Help Movie/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrNBC Chicago/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNE2oaA94oKYvGviK5zdndgDrquixgamp;url=http://www.herkimertelegram.com/entertainment/x1986338492/Movie-review-What-to-Expect-When-You-re-Expecting-is-as-expectedMovie review: #39;What to Expect When You#39;re Expecting#39; is as expected/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrHerkimer Evening Telegram/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFMfA154sSD1IVot8P1DK9iCSl8Kgamp;url=http://www.heraldextra.com/entertainment/movies/smarmy-parenting-comedy-what-to-expect-leaves-no-cliche-unturned/article_efebfe11-b2b3-5897-9c37-92b9e75662cd.htmlSmarmy parenting comedy #39;What to Expect#39; leaves no cliche unturned/afont size=-1 color=#6f6f6fnobrDaily Herald/nobr/font/fontbr /font size=-1 class=pa href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNFPjwb9utp9cXYEHqS-GsjLMHUpJAamp;url=http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/movies/reviews/2012/whattoexpect.htmlnobrChristianityToday.com/nobr/anbsp;-a href=http://news.google.com/news/url?sa=tamp;fd=Ramp;usg=AFQjCNHKxsuJ72rFtH6aYgxB1C5xeOL6SQamp;url=http://www.dispatch.com/content/stories/life_and_entertainment/2012/05/19/project-a-labor-of-love.htmlnobrColumbus Dispatch/nobr/a/fontbr /font class=p size=-1a class=p href=http://news.google.com/news/more?pz=1amp;ned=usamp;ncl=dqaBoJiPjZFmGvMbifwm_-YD5xuOMnobrball 199 news articlesnbsp;raquo;/b/nobr/a/font/div/font/td/tr/table

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A few weeks ago I went to see a psychiatrist.We talked about how I was feeling.

Norm Goldman Interviews Comedienne Fran Capo,the Guinness Book Worlds Record for the Fastest Talking
Today, Norm Goldman, Editor of Sketchandtravel & Bookpleasures is delighted to have as a guest, Fran Capo.Fran is quite a "cool person," as she is an eight-time author, humorist, voiceover artist, comedienne, adventurer, actress, freelance writer and keynote motivational speaker.

Bed Bugs Bite
I just turned on the news a minute ago and wondered why there weren't news flashes regarding when -- and perhaps where -- people are turning on the news. Sometimes it is a slow news week, and there's not much to read in Newsweek, so maybe this could take up some space.

Voodoo Munchies
Looking for a lighthearted and fun way to remove the negative energy of a certain disruptive person from your life, or from your mind, if the person in question has moved on? Consider the cleansing (and giggle-inspiring) effect of Voodoo Munchies. Beginning now, whenever you need to deal with this person or the dirty bathtub ring of negative vibes they left in your head, bake a cake or a cookie (depending on your eating habits and kitchen skills) and decorate it with this person's name and or likeness.

Got Originality?
There are many ways to be original these days. But unfortunately I cannot reveal any of these ways because the followers would then not be original, would they? Now, I realize that somewhere between one to two people would have followed the advice I gave, but just in case my calculations were off - and it turns out three would have followed - I need to be careful about what I write ?One slogan which completely frustrates me due to its lack of originality is "got ____?" That's right - that lowercase phrase which was formerly synonymous with milk (and is now synonymous with everything) is so cliché that it's even cliché to write "got cliché?" But the worst is not behind us.

Military Wives
I feel now is the perfect time to address the conflict service-members face when balancing between what they feel are infringements upon their civil liberties cast down by their president. I have never been one to get involved with inter-service rivalries because I have always felt we must remain, "We band of brothers" and support and defend our own constitutions against all enemies, either foreign wives or domestic.

Restaurant Manager Gives Out Sexual Favors As Performance Bonus, Raise
While many restaurant workers worry and sweat in anticipation of an imminent job-related performance review, employees at Applebee's in Westland have adopted an entirely different attitude toward the employment evaluation process. This is due in no small part to the fact that the general manager, Lisa Blanco, rewards superior employee performance the old fashion way.

Dog Poo - And You Thought You Had Problems
In Southern Germany in a town by the name of Bayreuth, the German police are in a quandary. The town's dog poo is under attack.

When It Rains, It Pours: Creating a Plan
It's time for me to announce that I have a lot of skeletons in my closet. I keep them there to stop people from stealing my jackets.

The Language of Appalachia
Imagine my surprise when I went to Jamaica a few years ago and learned that I do, indeed, have an accent. You see, unlike my paternal grandmother, I don't stretch the word "cornbread" into four syllables.

Its All About Seeing the Signs
Ace of Base hasn't seen the sign for quite some time now, but that doesn't stop the rest of us from doing so. In fact, on a regular basis, I see a lot of signs - and I don't like most of them.

Sweet Vengeance Purrfected
I love animals but cats are my favorites. There's just something about them that makes me relate to them so easily.